The Three Curses Of Ribania

Long, long ago, in the days before anybody can remember, there was, in the beautiful Looking Glass Mountains, beside the sea of shimmering silver, a country called Ribania. Though everything looked fine and peaceful, Ribania was suffering under a dreadful spell, which had been placed upon it by a wicked magician called Milo. Now, Milo, because the King would not let him sell his evil magic potions, placed three curses on the country of Ribania.

The first curse was placed upon the poor old King, King Redfurn. The curse was that he would always have to shout, no matter how softly he tried to talk.

The second curse was placed on the King’s daughter, the lovely Princess Katrina. This curse was that she would have a long silver beard, and no matter how often she cut it off, it would always grow back again immediately.

The third curse - and the strangest - was placed upon all the animals of Ribania. This curse was that they were all totally mixed up.

Oh, I am King Redfurn, who always must shout
Everyone in the palace knows I’m about.
I can’t whisper a secret. The whole world must know.
When I say my prayers at church, they hear in the back row.
Oh, it’s such a problem, to shout instead of sing,
Is there nobody in the country, can help this shouting King?

Now I’m the King’s daughter. Katrina is my name.
Just to look upon my face, would put all to shame
I have whiskers to the floor stones, all silvery and grey,
No matter how I shave them off, they grow back straight away.
I may be very beautiful, I can only guess.
I’m lovely Katrina, the bearded Princess.

In Ribania the cocks don’t crow, they simply moo instead.
The cows wake you in the morning, and the sheep are colored red.
The birds bark up in the trees, as the cats swim in the lake.
The hills’ echo to the sound of baaing made by duck and drake.
Milking all the chickens makes farming rather hard.
It’s more like a freak show, than a normal country yard!

Of course, many people had tried to rid Ribania of the dreadful curses placed upon the country by the evil Milo. And many a brave knight had died doing battle against the evil wizard. The nearest anybody had managed was to trap Milo in the shape of a three headed monster, though this still proved more than a match for any brave adventurer.

One morning, sometime in May, the King was pacing up and down in his royal palace, shouting even louder than normal:

Oh dear, oh dear, alack and woe is me,
Who will come and save my poor country?
I’ll offer my daughter’s hand, but her beauty we can’t see
Oh who will lift this spell?

CHORUS
We need a prince on a charger in shining white armor,
Courageous and handsome, oh who will lift the spell?

Of course, everybody in the castle, and most of the people outside, could hear the King as he shouted. As he had sung the same song many times before, everyone joined in the chorus:

I’m the King of Ribania sad,
Where all the animals have gone mad,
Evil Milo I hope you’re glad,
Please someone lift this spell.

CHORUS
We need a prince on a charger in shining white armor,
Courageous and handsome, oh who will lift the spell?

At this point, the King normally started to cough. As you can imagine, having to shout all day would make your throat terribly sore.

My daughter is full of grace,
She’s kind and knows her place,
If only we could see her face,
Oh! who will lift the spell ?

CHORUS
We need a prince on a charger in shining white armor,
Courageous and handsome, oh who will lift the spell?

By this time, all the animals had joined in and the air was full of birds barking, cows crowing, and ducks bleating, as the whole country joined in the last chorus. This ended with such a fit of coughing from the King; that the cat fell off its perch in the cage, and the King had to sit down for a rest. Glancing out of the window, he glimpsed a strange figure making his way down the road towards the town. The man was riding an old gray goat, which was strange - even in Ribania - as all the goats there carried shells on their backs. On his head was a saucepan, and over his shoulder he carried a woodman’s axe. His clothes were of many shades and colors, and even his patches had patches on them.

As he came through the town, everyone turned to stare.

He doffed his saucepan hat to everybody he passed, each time nearly falling off his goat. He whistled a tune as he went along then, as he neared the castle, he started to sing:

Here I am sitting high, noble and so brave,
People cheer as I go past; I give them a little wave.
My trusty mount on which I ride, his name is “Noble Bill”
My axe is on my shoulder; my arm is full of skill.

CHORUS
I’m slightly tattered around the side,
So is Noble Bill, on whom I ride,
I roam the country far and wide,
Sir Pot of Saucepan Hill.

O’er countryside both far and wide, I travel for a quest,
I will partake, participate, and always do my best.
With trusty steed, my strong right arm, and quick and steady eye,
A ready smile, a helpful hand, just hears my battle cry.

CHORUS
I’m slightly tattered around the side,
So is Noble Bill, on whom I ride,
I roam the country far and wide,
Sir Pot of Saucepan Hill.

At this song, and seeing the state of the stranger, the people laughed even louder, setting the animals a-hawking and a-squawking, such as normally only happened when the great voice of the King roared, as it did at that very moment.

“Bring the knight here!” the King demanded in a voice that shook the very roof of the palace. “And the goat as well,” he added, after a cough or two. “Sir Knight,” he shouted when finally the two strangers were presented before him, “is it true you might be able to save Ribania from these dreadful times?”

“I can, sire,” replied the knight. “And all I ask as a reward, is for the hand of your daughter, the Princess Katrina, in marriage.”

At that moment, the Princess who, like everyone else in the palace, had heard the King, glided across the floor to her father, her long beard making a strange tinkling sound as it brushed along the floor.

“But my good knight,” she said. “How do you know what I look like? Even I don’t know what lies under this wretched beard!”

“And,” bellowed the king, “so many people have perished trying to save us. At least let me give you some proper armor and weapons.”

“Princess,” murmured the knight, “I can tell by your eyes how beautiful you are. And the only thing I ask from your majesty, are a few strands of your daughter’s beard.”

Upon hearing this, the Princess at once cut some strands from her beard which, of course, grew back immediately, and handed them to the knight, who bound them around his arm, then around the shaft of his ax. The knight who, of course, we should call Sir Pot of Saucepan Hill, mounted himself on his goat, bid them all good-bye, and started out to the lair of the monster, that was Wizard Milo. All along the road, people shouted and cheered and, along with all the animals, joined in a new chorus of his song:

I’m noble strong and brave,
The people at me rave,
This country I will save,
Sir Pot of Saucepan Hill.

“Good-bye! Good luck!” shouted the King, right until the knight was far into the distance.

“Good luck,” sighed the Princess through her beard.

Now, deep in a cave, high up on the tallest peak in the Looking Glass Mountains, lived the giant monster that was really the wicked wizard Milo. The monster had three hideous heads. The first was a dragon which breathed fire and smoke. The second head was an eagle with a huge beak. But the third head was the worst of all, being the head of Milo himself, which was crowned by thousands of writhing poisonous snakes. The monster sat at the side of the cave, its three heads swaying from side to side, singing together:

He hi, hi ho, I’m the ogre Milo
He hum, he hah, I’m the most fearsome monster by far.
He hah, he hum, three heads are better than one.
Hiddly dum, hiddly dee, everyone is afraid of me.
Hiddey hum, hiddey ho, I’m the wicked, bad Milo.

As he finished his song, all three heads thrashed about even more, pleased with the words they had made up, and they laughed until the whole mountain shook.

At that moment, Sir Pot appeared on the scene and, taking his chance, he lifted his axe and, with a mighty blow, chopped off the dragon head.

The shrieking laughter of Milo changed to cries of pain, and the remaining two heads thrashed from side to side. Back and forth went the battle, the knight swinging his axe, the monster trying to attack him with its two remaining heads.

Suddenly, the eagle head managed to catch hold of the axe, and pulled it out of the knight’s hands. However, because the ax was attached to the knight by strands of Princess Katrina’s beard, the knight came with the ax. Shocked, the eagle head didn’t think to move out of the way, and the saucepan on Sir Pot’s head slammed into its beak, knocking the eagle out cold, and stunning Sir Pot.

The knight lay sprawled helpless on the floor, fully at the mercy of the last, and most terrible head, the head of Milo himself. The monster moved in to deliver the fatal blow, the snakes on its head glinting in the sun.

Suddenly, the goat, Noble Bill, who had been grazing nearby, charged. With a mighty blow, he butted the monster Milo off the edge of the cliff, thus ending the evil reign of the Wizard Milo.

Some time later, the King was gazing out of the window when he saw the knight approach.

“Look! Here comes Sir Pot! He must have done it!” he cried.

But nobody heard him as he was not shouting any more. And, anyway, nobody was paying him any attention, as the whole of the King’s court were looking at the Princess, whose beard had simply vanished to reveal Katrina as the most beautiful girl in the whole of Ribania.

As had been promised, Katrina and Sir Pot were married, much to the joy of all the people in Ribania, who joined in with all the animals, who were now back to normal, in their song of celebration, over and over again.

Ribania is once again, now that evil Milo’s dead
Bold Sir Pot the monster killed chopped off every head.
The King at last can talk again; from curses we’re set free,
Katrina can marry brave Sir Pot, and happy they will be.

Well, that’s how Ribania was saved from the three curses. And as for Noble Bill? He ended his days happily munching grass in the royal couple’s garden.


- Storyheart
http://4tenderheart.com