How are you feeling now that the razzmatazz is over and the number 2000 has lost its glamour and fallen into its natural place in the scheme of things? What does it mean to you now? Perhaps you regard the whole thing as a bit of a fizzer and are feeling slightly let down. Well, don’t give in to a dose of the blahs and spoil what is being presented to you right now on a golden plate.

A Golden Opportunity, one that comes only once in a thousand years. Pinch yourself awake, sit up and look up. Read those words again. If you are sinking into the mundane thoughts of the last century, pull yourself up and seize The Golden Opportunity and grip it firmly in both hands.

We have passed from the darkness of the old millennium into the Light of the new. Are you still hanging on to the Old, or are you ready to seek out the New? This is The Golden Opportunity offering itself. It can be yours, or do you want to remain with the old ways that are now doomed, being outworn and frequently erroneous. In time, they will wither in the strengthening Light and die. This is the predicted Doomsday, this is their Fate. Who wants to go along with that?

Join those of us in Tintota who are ready to grasp The Golden Opportunity and make the appropriate changes within ourselves so that we can recapture the magic of that millennium night when all the countries joined to rejoice. Let us learn to hold that magic in our lives. The magic is the Light and it is ours now, yours and mine.

In friendship, we will stride out together. We will take simple steps to find ways to cast out the woes in our lives, which are the leftovers, the dark shadows of past centuries. We will endeavour to replace these with the blessings of Light: happiness, peace of mind, healthy living, self-respect and respect for others, and so forth.

This is an adventure into the New. Embarking upon any adventure needs forethought. It requires courage. It requires the willingness to mentally adapt to new situations and the ingenuity to find ways to make progress. Most importantly, it will require patience.

Who will benefit from all this?

You will. Here is the offer. Come join us.

Where do we start? By taking a look within ourselves. We have come from the Dark and the dark cobweb-shadows cling about us. Our first requirement is to recognise them, then to free ourselves of their unpleasant clinging.

What are these dark shadows? How do we free ourselves?

We start by looking within ourselves. It is there that we will find the dark shadows. They are the source of our dis-ease. It is they that are presently spoiling our happiness.

Do not become anxious, you are not alone. Everyone of us has them. We have carried them with us in a neat little suitcase into the year 2000 only to find that they have no place here. Darkness is in opposition to Light. Our luggage is useless and its weight tires us. We need relief. Even so, some of us will be loathe to discard it. After all, it has served us pretty well. It may come in handy. Why not put it into Left Luggage?

Open your suitcases, friends, and let us first look at what you have brought along with you.

"What have we here?"

Each pile is heaped for inspection. And because we are friends, we will save any embarrassment by presenting, anonymously, an example from among the contents of each suitcase. We will select at random.

"I feel that I’m a loser, I’m everyone’s punching bag."

"I don’t seem to be capable of maintaining friendship."

"There always seems to be something missing in my life."

"My financial affairs are in a mess and I feel desperate."

"I cannot relax, its all go, go, go."

"Decisions are hard to make, there are so many people to please."

"I am surrounded by clutter and now feel helpless, I have neither time nor energy to find my way."

"I’m going crazy, I seem to spend my time getting angry."

"I’m into my third divorce, and I am so lonely."

"I’m always trying to please others but seem to come out second best and feel disheartened."

Is this the luggage that you wish to haul with you into this new century? And the above is just a random selection, maybe your Dark Shadow has not appeared here. If not, add it to the list now.

Here the adventure begins. Let in the Light. Banish the Darkness that clings and free yourself. Changes will have to be made and this is where your courage will be tested. We all fear change as it upsets our feeling of security. If you live in a house on the edge of a cliff with a magnificent view of the ocean, but the cliff is being eroded by the tides, your security will be at risk. Sooner or later, you will have to make a decision. It is in your hands. You, and only you, are responsible for your wellbeing, and the quality of your life.

Here are some aspects that may be new to you. If you can accept them, we can move ahead and deal with the troubles in the above list.

We have labelled the past Millennium as dark. Light is synonymous with knowledge, darkness with ignorance. Now to clarify. Informed ignorance becomes knowledge. In a dark age, there are always points of Light, as in the night sky where there is starlight and moonlight. This Light is never lost, although sometimes it is dimmed by the dark deeds performed in ignorance by humanity. But it always triumphs. As a Dark age nears its demise, its Light moves forward to merge with the New.

Here we now stand witnessing the old accumulated knowledge merging. Possibilities open up. For us, they present themselves as The Golden Opportunity. We are now taking steps to avail ourselves of all it has to offer.

Deep within each of us there resides a Pearl. Pure wisdom. It is known by many names. Some term it the God Within, others, the Higher Self, the Force is another word used of late. Terminology varies, we use that with which we feel comfortable. I will employ the word Wisdom.

Wisdom is your guide. It is not your controller. It functions as the "still small voice" that advises you if you allow it to be heard. It is the real pure you, the essence of your being. If you have not been allowing it to be heard in your life, then no doubt its voice has been silenced by your accumulation of Dark shadows.

Let us now shake ourselves free and start to listen to the guidance that is our birthright. We are about to sweep the cobwebs away and rescue our Wisdom to let the Light into our lives.

You, and you only, are responsible for your life. We all have dreams as to what we wish our life to be like. How often do you voice the words, "I wish…" How nice it would be if, as in the story of Cinderella, our fairy godmother could wave her magic wand! Being solely responsible for our own lives, it is us ourselves who must grapple with our problems.

"I feel that I’m a loser, I’m everyone’s punching bag."
First, remember that you are a fragile being. Do not plague yourself with feelings of guilt. Treat yourself with compassion for you are hurting right now. Before the physician can heal, the root cause of the pain must be identified. Only then can he set about prescribing remedies for a cure. Let us now look at the list to discover the root of the ills that we found in the luggage piles.

If you feel like a loser, then you will be presenting yourself as a punching-bag and life will be very uncomfortable, and certainly not what you would wish it to be. You are suffering the results of low self-esteem. This is your dark shadow that you have carried in your luggage. It is rooted in your past. Go back to childhood and seek out any memory of your being put down or made to feel unworthy. It could be a parent’s impatience with your slowness to grasp a concept, or a teacher’s unwise remark that sent you scuttling into your shell. Once you discover that root, then you set about curing yourself.

Relive the situation. Feel the hurt. Be the little child, or the teenager and write down in a child’s words an account of the whole situation and exactly how you felt. Return to your adult state. Now become the adult who caused this distress. Let this adult write you a letter. It could go something like this. "Dear C, I remember the occasion you refer to. I am deeply sorry that I caused you so much hurt. I assure you that this was unintentional. You were one of my best students. For this very reason I remarked that I didn’t want to see your work and passed on to examine the writings of less able students. I realise now that I should have explained why I did not need to see your work, I knew that your effort was always of a good standard. Unfortunately, at that time, class sizes were such that we were often driven to neglecting the needs of our students. Please understand that I was confident of your abilities. I am so sorry that your hurt was so deep."

From the above example, two factors are made evident. The teacher happened to use the word "want" when she really meant "need". Had she sufficient time, she would, no doubt, have paused with her student to express her intentions. We now come to the second factor. The class was too large for the teacher to give full attention to each student. She was a victim of circumstance as much as her unfortunate student. Here we note the root of the Dark shadow is the wrong thinking from the last century. Class sizes in excess of 50 fall even into my experience! As we have already noted, the results of past errors, concepts, modes (e.g. children should be seen and not heard!) have slithered over the century line and are with us still. This is where we put The Golden Opportunity to work. We let in the Light of Knowledge. Class sizes are still detrimental to our children’s development.

Back to our subject, whose self-esteem is at such a low ebb. Having reached the original cause of the problem, it can now be faced and a start made on the healing process. By seeing yourself as a punching-bag, you are presenting this thought pattern to society. People see you as such, and react accordingly. Many of us do not understand that our thoughts are energy that is put out and can then be received by others. What you think is what you get. Negative thoughts result in negative reactions. You must now begin by putting out positive thoughts about yourself. Think of yourself in a positive way. This is what is meant by loving yourself. Your present self-image is causing your distress. You must change it.

From the letter, the little child within will come to understand that her teacher saw her as a worthy student. You must draw the little child out of the shell into which he or she scuttled, and set about rebuilding her/your, self-confidence. This is where you have to begin to love (respect) yourself.

All the items on the list have this in common: a lack of self-esteem and a need to learn how to love, which incorporates getting to know and respecting, yourself. I can sense you all shouting, "How on earth do we do that?" The answer is, with help. I, like you, have trodden the path. I understand the questions you ask. The obstacles that appear in the path, seem insurmountable from your present viewpoint.

Hold on, some of us have already found our way. In the manner of true friends, we hold out our hands for you to grasp. Many of us felt despair and saw ourselves floundering with no foot or handholds in sight. Our minds screamed for help. Help came. Those who were ahead had cleared a way for us by writing down the guidelines to be followed, so that we might gain easier passage. Thank them for this. Many books have been written, and are being written, to cover all our needs. They are free from the Dark shadows of verbosity and highly technical language. Their writers have moved into the Light and become one with it. They are inspired by their inner wisdom to set down the information we require to reach our Light Dream to freedom and happiness. We will return to this point later. Now it is time to look once again at our list.

"I don’t seem capable of maintaining friendships."
Something has gone wrong for you in the past. Can you remember someone letting you down? Alternatively, you could be applying some wrong thinking as to what friendship requires. Your confidence has been lost and your self-esteem diminished. An instructive article by Warren Roff-Marsh on this subject, also a delightful poem by Sandra Molenaar, both appeared in previous Newsletters and can be found in the Archive section of our Website. You could find these helpful. Friendship, like marriage, requires hard work on both sides for it to flourish. As your self-esteem has been lowered it could well be that in a feeling of desperation, you are giving out negative signals of unworthiness and therefore attracting the less worthy to you. Begin to see the things within yourself that reflect the positive side of your personality. Make a list of the attractive qualities that you have to offer. Give these out in thought form. "I am a friendly, caring person." "I am fun-loving and cheerful." "I like to talk, and to listen." Got the idea?

"There always seems to be something missing in my life."
If you feel that there is something missing in your life, you need to seek it out by doing some searching within yourself. You are receiving a call from that "still small voice" within you that sees that there is something you need to find.

"But I have everything to make me happy, a loving husband, healthy children, a comfortable home and no financial worries. What could be missing?"
Look at your interests, you might find a clue here. Is there something that you have always wanted to do? Maybe you have pushed it aside, or worse, buried it under a heap of protests against its impracticability. Whatever, it is still there. It is begging for your attention. We all have a life pattern, this could well be a part of yours. For example, there may have been a desire in you to work with flowers, to decorate hats, to fly a plane… "Seek, and ye shall find." It could turn out to be your life’s mission. Don’t neglect the call.

"My financial affairs are in a mess and I feel desperate."
This is a frightening situation for anyone to be in. Again, we have to go trotting off into the past to discover the root of the situation. Go back to childhood and look at the finances of your parents. If they suffered in the same way, then you are no doubt repeating the pattern. Your parents will have had reasons which caused their situation. You may have grown up accepting this as the norm. If you received no guidance, then the repetition is understandable. Or you may have been in a wealthy family where whatever you wanted was provided. Here again, lacking financial instruction, when you entered the real world, you floundered for want of the required knowledge of money management. Do not blame your parents, they were, no doubt, doing their best within the confines of their own circumstances. They were responsible for their lives. You, and you alone, are responsible for yours.

Money requires order, so you must deal with it in an orderly way. It has the character of quicksilver and must always be firmly controlled. If you do not hold on tightly to your money chains, it will bring you great unhappiness, enormous anxiety and, eventually, will destroy you. It is imperative that you act now to acquire the instruction that you desperately need.

Bring order into your financial affairs by doing the following things. Tidy up. This includes your purse, your wallet, credit cards, bank accounts and, of course, your outstanding debts. Now calculate what money you have in hand. Next, assess your out going payments and total your accounts. Look at your earnings.

You are probably in a state of panic right now. This is your responsibility. You are in charge. To rectify your affairs if you are debt-laden is to do an orderly examination of where your money is going and begin to do some pruning. Cut out all unessentials. See where you can cut back in your spending. In other words, get your priorities in order so that you have a clear picture of your position. If it shocks you, all to the good. Shock can be a positive factor. It brings you up with a jerk, making you face a bad situation. I am a friend, and can only advise as such. However, as I mentioned previously, there are those who do have the precise knowledge that you require in your situation. The 9 Steps to Financial Freedom by Suze Orman is a book that provides the information you require. And it is superbly readable.

"I cannot relax, it’s go, go, go."
There are times when we have all felt this but, in this case, things have got out of hand. This problem arises from a lack of planning. It is similar to the disorderliness of finance in the above example. It therefore must be challenged in a similar way. The root of the situation here again lies in the Dark areas. Our minds need to be trained to apply logic to our thinking and to our actions. This amounts to learning to assess priorities and then tabulating what is of greater or lesser importance. In fact, bringing order out of chaos. In this instance, a lack of know-how is causing the problem and is the Dark shadow

"One thing at a time" is the rule to be followed here. First look at all you have to do. List the items, this is a must. Study the list carefully, picking out those things that must be done immediately. Mark those. Repeat this until every item on your list is tabulated. Take your first job, do it and, most important, tick it off. This will give you a sense of accomplishment. Continue in this way.

If things are badly out of hand, then you may have to leave till tomorrow, what cannot be fitted in today. You may find that certain jobs can be delegated. Children can be asked to help. Avoid making the job a task. When it is done, reward with a smiling thank-you. Give some thought to your daily actions and find out where time and energy can be saved. For example, if you go to the bedrooms to make the beds, see what other small jobs need to be done there. One visit to an area can be used to accomplish more than one thing, thus saving both time and energy.

We can get into such a rushed state that we neglect a most essential area: our own selves. Each day, allocate a space for yourself. As little as fifteen minutes, alone and undisturbed, in which you can listen to your inner-self. To begin with, this will seem difficult for you as you have become inured to the "go, go, go". Try looking at a restful picture, or a flower, anything that you find calming. Work at this. Believe me, it will work if you wish it to do so.

"Decisions are hard to make, there are so many people to please."
Oh dear, I know this one. I myself, have had a hard struggle with it. I confess, I am still not entirely free from it. Fear is frequently at the root of this problem. So off to the past once more. Take a close look at your childhood. Every child needs the love and care of its parents and for this reason alone its desire to please is first priority. The lesson in pleasing is soon learned and rewarded with the loving smile or gentle touch which means so much and, incidentally builds the child’s self-esteem. Think of the feeling of disappointment, even devastation, that is created when the child receives a frown, or a sudden raising of the voice of the parent in displeasure, when the intent was to please. The result is shock. Should the voice be raised in displeasure, fear is aroused. An unexpected slap can arouse terror in a young, loving infant.

The child who becomes confused as to which mode of behaviour is required soon finds it difficult to make the right decision. In some circumstances, the process is soured by fear as to the consequences. We begin to see the light dawning. Here is the root of our indecision. But the poor child’s problems are exacerbated when it discovers that it has a mass of people to please besides its parents. All its relations, siblings, friends - not to mention the neighbours!

The second important truth. Take care with the instruction and training of your own children. Mistakes made in ignorance by our parents were a consequence of some aspects of the Dark mis-teaching of the past. Look out for more enlightened instruction now to hand.

"I am surrounded by clutter and now feel helpless, I have neither time nor energy to find my way."
Dismal Dark shadows lurk here. Ignorance is never bliss. I guess that someone set their hopes on it being so when, in desperation, they grabbed the offending object littering the living room floor and rammed it into an already overflowing drawer before the visitors arrived.

Here again we come up against the feeling of helplessness being endured when the principles of orderliness have not been observed. The vast majority of us are not born with the tidy-spoon in our mouths. It is something that we have to learn to cope with in many facets of our lives. Creating a mess is easy, clearing it up is a chore. It is essential for our well-being, and our happiness that we learn the art of coping with disorder before it gets out of hand and eats into our self-respect.

Here we see a person who has probably been trying to close overflowing drawers, cupboards, wardrobes, for years. No doubt the pantry shelves groan from overweight and the car stands forlornly on the driveway faintly hopeful that some kind soul will clear its garage of neglected bric-a-brac that "might be of some use some day!"

Take two or three deep breaths. An onslaught is required here. It’s pay-up time for sloth! This colossal mountain must be reduced. Here an orderly system must be employed and adhered to. Take one cupboard at a time. Deal only with IT until order is restored, first, by stripping it, then sorting and disposing of the unwanted. Be ruthless. Carefully plan how to restore the contents in an orderly and gettable way.

When the mountain has been dispersed and order reigns throughout the habitation, a resolution must be made. This lesson of orderliness must never require a repeat session. Clutter must be avoided and time and energy preserved for positive use. It is in our own hands, it is our responsibility, no one else’s.

"I’m going crazy, I seem to spend my time getting angry."
A cry for help indeed! I guess we all know the feeling though. The kids are frantic for attention, your husband can’t find his socks, and is equally worked up as he sees himself being late for that early appointment he didn’t want to make. The toast is burning and as you step out quickly to rescue it, your foot lands on the cat’s saucer and the milk is sent flying every which way. It’s enough to make any one of us feel crazy!

There are times in the calmest of families when similar scenarios are played out. However, if such episodes take on a life-pattern, then things are out of control. When a situation cannot be handled, then it results in deeply felt frustration and explosions of anger. Too much of this can end in dire consequences health-wise, as the human body reacts unfavourably to tension.

Again, order is our first ingredient to be examined. Look at the prime causes for your frustration. In other words, what triggers it off. List them. Number the causes starting with the most intense feelings, and then work down. Isolate the first three and do some thinking back in time to childhood memories. Take your time, relax over this, let your mind surf the waves of memory. Direct your attention to times when you witnessed similar situations in your home life. How did your parents handle such situations? The drama of the situation, such as that exampled above, would call forth a frustrated reaction. An angry expletive and a spate of grumbles would relieve the pressure. This done, someone might introduce humour and everyone would join in the ensuing healthy laughter as the funny side became apparent. If this is the type of memory that surfaces, then all is well in your more distant past. In which case you must look for more recent causes for your present problem.

Your parents may, however, have reacted to the situation in a less healthy way. Anger could have been released that soon became out of control. A family row ensued. Accusations flew from one party to another, resulting in a shouting match. If this is what you witnessed as a young child you were being presented with a pattern of behaviour. You may not have enjoyed it at the time, it could have been scary because you failed to understand the cause. Every accusation flung forth was an unresolved frustration. At this point, we see where a cure has to begin.

When the frustrations begin to build up in you, a memory is triggered deep within your psyche and you react in the way that was patterned in your early years. The Golden Opportunity steps in for you. It is in your hands to alter the pattern and shape it to your satisfaction so that your life is no longer a battlefield of angry frustrations, warring, but never reaching a peace treaty. YOU have to organise the Peace.

Look to your list. Take each frustration and arrange your situation so that it is either resolved, or comfortably contained. Seek out the help of your family. They, too, will be involved with frustrations of their own. You are in charge of your life. Your anger will be affecting theirs. It is therefore right that you approach the problem and ask for their understanding, help, and co-operation. Warning: this must be done in an atmosphere of calm and loving resolution in order to bring about the relief for all involved. This may not be a family affair, but your anger, no doubt, spills out somewhere, in the workplace, even in traffic, where other motorists could be put at risk. Do your homework and seek further help if needs be. A happy You will delight in the change.

"I’m into my third divorce and I’m so lonely."
I can sense the misery, the tears, the utter helplessness. Once upon a time, this was either the handsome groom or the beautiful bride, who pledged their troth to one another. With youthful assurance, they looked to the fairytale world they were entering where all their problems would dissolve in the magical love that overflowed from their hearts. Or so they believed. They soon discovered that the fairytale world was also inhabited by hobgoblins. And no one had warned them! Well, it’s true that some voices were raised, but their warnings were soon overridden. It was believed that they were merely wingers, or, simply had a personal axe to grind and were no doubt jealous of the couple’s new-found happiness.

Sadly, it is a well known fact that we have come to expect the marriage vow to be broken. We even make provision for it with pre-nuptial contracts. An excellent idea, given these circumstances!

Well, let us have a look at the circumstances. When we are about to leave the shelter of our homes for our début on the educational ladder we are prepared by our parents, we may even visit the school we are soon to attend. The school prepares us for our higher education, our vocational training, for our entry into the work force. Who prepares us for marriage?

Who indeed! The Church offers Holy Matrimony. It sounds nice and secure, and very right. If it does offer any help, how effective is it? It also allows divorce, so how reliable are its teachings on this important subject? The schools? It is not on the syllabus as no examination is required for this subject. Your parents? Having read the above, you may ask yourself from what source did they acquire their know-how?

It seems to me that our knowledge is dependent upon two major factors, our own common sense, along with that of our parents. Take a look at the state of your parent’s matrimonial affairs. If they fared well, then you will have something positive to go on, if not…

We have reached the year 2000 and very few of us have received any real help from the obvious sources of instruction. Some enlightened books have appeared on the market, it is true, but few of us see the need to read them until it is too late and, as in the case in question, we are in dire trouble.

We must seize The Golden Opportunity here and enlighten the ignorance of the past. The Light of real knowledge must be allowed to enter this area of our lives and also into the area of parenthood - another area we are not prepared for adequately.

I will point out one item of knowledge that all too few folk are aware of. That is the anatomical fact that the male and female brains are NOT alike. We think quite differently, we therefore approach situations in different ways. If faced with a problem, the man goes for an immediate solution, whilst the woman enjoys considering every facet along the way. It is this difference which should be an attraction and an attribute to a marriage if used appropriately. All too often, our lack of understanding of human make-up, leads us into negative conflict which leads us into unproductive behaviour. Sadly this ignorance has destroyed many a relationship.

This leads to the important factor. It is of the utmost importance that you talk openly with each other before marriage or partnership is entered upon. Remember that the attractive outer appearance is what you see. The real person, with whom you will have to live, is hidden from your sight. Make sure that you get to understand the whole person.

As for yourself, you are responsible for your own life. If you make a bad decision, YOU are responsible. Do not blame your partner. Do your best to rectify the situation together. Listen for the advice from your "still small voice" and consider it well.

Lastly, when things have failed miserably, as in this case, It will be necessary to work at improving your own self-confidence. This has already been touched upon in previous pages, and will be again in the following section. If your self-image is poor, you could be sending out the wrong signals. Work on this and you will be surprised how, when you respect yourself completely, your circle of friends will change and be replaced by others who have much to offer you. There are many books giving advice on self-image, find one that suits your needs and follow the advice that you are given.

"I’m always trying to please others but seem to come out second best and feel disheartened."
If you have read what has gone before, you will be aware that so many of our problems arise from the way in which we regard ourselves. It is this image that we present to the world. You may be dressed in designer clothes of the latest fashion and have the face and figure of a model, but this will not suffice if your thoughts concerning yourself are at low ebb. Thoughts are energy that we transmit. They are received as impressions by others. If you are thinking that you are not as good as other people who may appear to you as cleverer, more attractive, more friendly and such good company, then you might as well climb the clock tower and announce it. Save yourself the trouble, you have already done so. You have sent out the impression through energy. What you think is what you get. Remember that.

We have spoken of poor self image and tracked it back to your past. Proceed with this as I have suggested. Make your list of occasions when you remember losing your confidence. Perhaps you overheard an unflattering remark concerning your appearance, your actions or abilities. We all wish to please. However, we have to be watchful that those whom we are attempting to please are appreciative of our desire. There are selfish people in the world who will take what you offer without due thanks. They do not appreciate your efforts. To people such as this, you are merely grovelling, and they know it and treat you with disdain. Unfortunately, I have to say that you deserve it. Why? Because you are not respecting your own worth. Your own thoughts belie you. If you wish to please someone, then you deserve their respect and appreciation. If you feel that you come off second best then you are offering your help to the wrong people. They don’t deserve it. Think hard about yourself. List all your good qualities. Now add the areas you could improve. If there is something you dislike, don’t live with, do something to improve it. And I do not mean go to the extent of a face-lift! Once you think in a positive way about yourself you will find new friendship doors opening to you. These people will receive the improved impression your thought energy is giving out and they will appreciate your help and acts of kindness. Stop presenting yourself as the door-mat. This is not your calling in life. Lift up your head and appreciate yourself for who you really are. Do this and your Golden Opportunity will be your crown.

To conclude. The new millennium is reality for us all now. Its Light embraces every one of us. Its Golden Opportunity offers your release from the Dark shadows clinging from the past. As human beings, we were endowed with a birthright, the Gift of Freewill. The Offer is yours to accept or reject, it is your freewill choice. Listen well to your "still small voice" for guidance. Think well on the truth that you, as a free-willed person, are fully responsible for your own life.

I offer the above in friendship
- Sylvia Roff-Marsh.