Reply to David Ross

David, I greatly appreciated your story about your cousin, Jamie. There are no Down's Syndrome people in my extended family so I have no direct experience of them, but I have frequently heard parents and relatives of Down's children remark upon what a blessing a Down's child has been to their family.

Here is my most profound personal experience with Down's folk: Once, many years ago, I was attending a town celebration and a local child-talent was going to sing (western swing style) for us. She got up and was doing a heck of a good job entertaining us. The kid was great! She was hoppin' and she was happening! She was so emotionally available to us that she just made you want to jump up and stomp and dance! But the crowd was all sitting very respectfully and applauding the child in a very "parental way," and I was getting really frustrated about it all. I felt as if I was being "controlled" by social expectations. If I had acted as I felt drawn to act (by the music and appreciation for the performer's energy), I would have been making an unseemly spectacle of myself. And knowing that was really, really pissing me off.

However, down front there was a group of Down's Syndrome young adults - and they were having a ball! Man, they were having fun – and they were behaving exactly as I wanted to behave. I wanted to go down there and be part of their group. They were the most emotionally real people at the event.

Sadly, I didn't join them that day, but I've never forgotten that experience. It made a couple of things really clear to me. Firstly, that Down's Syndrome folk were in touch with a lot of things that really mattered - they were emotionally available, spontaneous, and kind. Secondly, that our "social rules" of proper adult behavior were superficial and skewed. And finally, that I was not nearly as emotionally courageous as I thought I was or I would have just run (not walked) down there and joined the group of people who were really in tune with the Cosmos that day.

Best Regards,

- Kathleen Ellyn
Woodburn, Oregon, U.S.A.